Cars and other stories
The great concrete truck disaster of 77.
© 1998 D R Fry
One afternoon I had been out for a particularly long and liquid lunch with the sales manager and credit manager from work. Along with a couple of clients, we had knocked off bottle after bottle of Red wine, plus the obligatory half dozen brandies, and now we were absolutely shitfaced, to put it bluntly.
Eventually we waved goodbye to the clients, who were in a similar state, and wended our way back to work. Brian the sales manager locked himself in his office, flipped his chair over backwards, passed out on the floor, and was discovered by the cleaners at 10 oclock that night.(see footnote) Jim the credit manager went for the big spit in the stockroom, then skidded over in it and knocked himself out on the concrete floor!
In the ensuing mayhem, I lurched to the
dunny just in time to wrestle the porcelain bus, then
announced to no-one in particular that I was going home.
WHAM! The next thing I remember was
standing by the back half of the car, heaving my guts out in
the gutter. The front half of the car was some distance
away. If Id slid a couple of feet further before we
hit, my legs would have been up there with it!. The thought
of this caused my body to reject even more lunch. Just where
do those carrots come from?
And just then in answer to my prayers, a
tow truck came over the bridge towards me. I waved to them,
they stopped, and I explained my predicament (as if they
Although the car was repaired by the
insurance company, it never drove the same afterwards.
Always a bit twitchy at high speed (135 mph on the Ballarat
freeway made the palms really sweaty) it now was definitely
But jeez it was a fun car while I had it.
And oh yes, the driver of the concrete truck sent me a bill for the damage to his vehicle; $120 to repaint his front bumper!
The story didn't end there. Brian got a taxi home after being woken by the cleaners. Unfortunately when he got home there was a power blackout and he was still a bit pickled, which caused him to forget that the carpet layers had been working in his house. However at that stage they hadn't actually laid any carpet, but just left the razor sharp carpet tacking strips ready for putting the carpet down in the morning.
After opening the door, he tripped over the doorstep in the dark, and crawled around the house to the bedroom, severely lacerating his hands and knees on the tacking strips at the same time.The lights came back on just as he was crawling into bed, dripping with blood. This woke his wife, and thinking she was being attacked by a blood soaked stranger (as opposed to her blood soaked husband) she screamed blue murder, hit him on the head with the bedside lamp and laid him out cold.
He was rushed to hospital and spent the night in Casualty wondering what had happened. It was not a good day for any of us!